Lies
“Why do I put myself in these situations.
Sacrifice all
All or nothing
And then nothing left
Everyone take take take
And tell lots of tales
Lying down
On the grass of lies
And being surrounded by a person
Fibbing and frowning
But you brought it upon yourself you say
You should know better
Than to sit on wet grass
Without a blanket
Or even a chair
These simple precautions
Could have stopped
By bosom from becoming
So dank and now
I’ve gotten nothing left to wear
From consistently making that silly mistake
And going back to the person
And the grass
That put me there.”

I can’t even think with all this mess in my conscious
not even for a minute
I’m so very tired of the empty
the broken
the lonely
the things I’ll never say that keep me trapped
in my prison late at night
and in bed in the morning
I don’t want to wake up
I want to sleep
I want to see you
sitting on that white bench like you always are
reminding me you’re never far
because you aren’t
every breath
every rest
you’re there on that bench
like an angel of death
you wait for me
but my path stays narrow
I can’t fall
falter
halt
for I know only two things for sure

and that’s about me
who I’ll be
where I’ll be
but you and me?
I don’t see.
No matter how many times I close my eyes
and see that white bench in front of me
there’s still a hole where you should be
an empty
gaping
throbbing
hole
where you should be

And I hate that white bench when I close my eyes
I hate the way you wait for me
because you know I’m weak and can’t resist
But wait.
You’re not real; you’re really me
and that’s me on that white bench
it’s all a dream
it’s only me

I’ll see you tomorrow night
shortly after I’ll repent
but every day in every way
you’re there on that
white bench

hurricanegilbert:

Do you ever wonder about how an author would describe you in a novel? Not only your appearance but the way you talk and laugh and hold yourself and all the expressions on your face?

I’d be a boring, lonely character who ends up drearily alone.

(Source: thesnowinthedarkness, via one-great-escape)