I walk into a hall
Long and wide like the ocean
My mind swaying in tune
Drunk in a restless haze
Mentally thinking of all of the
Words that you all want so badly to say
Eyes locked on my limbs
Thoughts soar in the sea
I wander and wonder
Bullets all aimed at me
I’m the one firing the gun
I try to swim
But then turn
Running through rivers
But I’m always diving in deep waters
I’ve been suffocating for years
Imagining who I could be
But the most disturbing temptation
Is the thought that
I may very well die
Before I ever like
The world made me to be
A lonely mermaid
Trapped inside the water for eternity
From the moment I saw you, I knew I was gonna spend the rest of my life avoiding you.
I’m fun to flirt with but not to date because I’m a psychopath
There is a shipwreck between your ribs and it took eighteen years
for me to understand how to understand your kind of drowning.
There are people who cannot be held quietly. There are screams
that are never externalized. If I looked at the photo albums of your
past twenty years, all I would find are decibel meter graphs of
phone calls and the intensity of your silence as you sat
smoking cigarettes in the garage.
There is a shipwreck between your ribs. You are a box with
fragile written on it, and so many people have not handled you
And for the first time, I understand that I will never know
how to apologize for being
one of them.
It’s just like I honestly have no interest in loosing my virginity and I am so sick of every single thing being made about sex when there is so much more to being connected to someone and really in the grand scheme of things sex is the most impersonal part of your relationship
I want to know your soul. I want to know everything about you and everything you thing about me and why the color green makes you sad when you are laying awake in bed at 5am
Fuck sex. I don’t even care. I want pure, full throttle love and commitment. And when the time comes, I want to know that the person whose arms my naked body are enveloped in is undeniably and inconsequently in love with even the darkest corner of my soul. And then I want him to fuck me until I feel so full of love that I can’t even speak.
I don’t want to have sex.